dear star wars — some suggestions, after the new cast announcement
It\'s an understatement to say that I\'m obsessed with Star Wars.
For a while, I seriously thought about C-
I have 3 po portraits tattooed on my lower back.
Fortunately, this is over, but it doesn\'t prevent me from waking up on the Star Wars sheets every morning when the alarm clock plays \"Imperial Parade.
\"It hugged me on this day.
I went to meetings one after another and soon dated, and if all the civilization disappeared and the technology suddenly disappeared, I would be able to completely rebuild the entire original trilogy from memory and recite a lineby-
When we crowded around the campfire, we lined up and used our hands --gestures.
The only thing I like more than Star Wars is to give my money to George Lucas (now, Disney).
I spent money watching the phantom threat at the cinema because of its 3D re-
Release, when I have no reason to expect anything different than the fare.
I can\'t figure out what you can do to alienate me from this series.
If you haven\'t done it now, after that.
You will never have two \"jars Binks\" and \"romance of Natalie Portman and Hayden kristens\".
Hayden brings all the levels and depth you expect in 30 minutes
Second PSA for teenagers drinking“I hate sand.
It\'s rough, it\'s everywhere. ”)
When Natalie Portman says all her lines, it\'s like Hayden trapped her in his basement and she\'s saying anything she thinks is most likely to get her“I truly? Deeply? Love? You? ”)
In the struggle with the urge to slowly stay away from him.
The jar is-well, Jar Jar.
My point is that you can\'t do anything to me to convince me that the franchise was destroyed.
Perhaps for this reason my suggestion never seems to be considered.
There is no doubt that someone in the writer\'s room observed, \"We made the first episode, but she came back to watch the second one.
After the second episode, she came back to watch the third episode.
There is no way we can stop her.
For fans like me, all you have to do is slap the \"Star Wars\" on the name of something and we\'ll buy it.
To participate in the signature of a person who briefly appeared in the background of the scene in Empire counterattack, I will walk barefoot to Omaha and say \"Yes, sir.
All this said: I was invested.
I am very excited about the new cast.
Gleeson! Oscar Isaac! John Boyega!
Adam Driver with clothes!
Daisy Ridley, as a new representative for everyone
X chromosomes are everywhere!
However, some issues still exist and it seems like a good moment to play them :-
Why is there never a blonde beauty in space? -
Why is the ratio of men to women in space 3720: 1?
Does it have anything to do with evolution? (
This has been discussed in theory. )
Will passing the Bechdel test disrupt the life of middle-aged people?
If so, it would be just another reason to abandon the Midlands. -
Seriously, is there no Bechdel test in space?
Of course, a lot of things that women are used to don\'t seem to exist, like other women who are not your employees. And underwear.
As George Lucas famously said to Carrie Fisher, \"there is no underwear in space. ” -
I know that in the original trilogy Obi-Wan said that Anakin was a \"good friend,\" but in the prequel, the only thing they do is talk to each other like they do, and it\'s best to carpool colleagues occasionally.
Is there more to look forward to in this character development? Or is someone in the staff again understanding the difference between presentation and telling? -
Perhaps the reason why there are so few women is that Star Wars was set a long time ago, and there are very few women included in space history?
If so, is it better for them now? -
But why is there no blonde?
I know both Luke and Anakin are blonde but they change with the seasons.
No one who has been talking for a long time is blonde.
Maybe Lobot started with blonde hair, but when we saw him he was bald and wore a beautiful headwear, so we would never know. -
In just 19 years, how did everyone forget that the past was full of swords wielding Jedi, who now described the force as an \"ancient religion \", even in Obi-Wan there at the time, the lightsaber was the \"elegant weapon of a more civilized era \"?
17 years ago, Hansen was very big. we didn\'t call them \"elegant bands in a more civilized era \".
\"Will this happen again? -
There are more female twi\' leks than human blonde people, things on the hair of this species.
I\'m sorry I kept on talking,-
Is there any reason?
What impact does space have on blonde beauty?
In addition, it is easier to study women\'s problems in depth. -
But as long as we dig deeper into women\'s issues, Princess Leia used to be, and is still one of the greatest female characters of all time.
I\'m glad I watched her grow up and got social cues from her.
I\'m not even bothered by the bikini, nor am I spoken by only three other female characters in the whole trilogy, one of which has a sentence: \"standby ion control: fire. ” But —
How about more than one at a time?
In the past, there was the mother of annagin Padme, an old lady librarian named jokasta Nou, and a group of waitresses whose names rhyme.
I can\'t remember her if there\'s anyone else. Why is this?
Will women who talk to each other disappear?
Also, I have some suggestions for the plot.
I know it was Michael Arndt who started writing the script and left.
Maybe it\'s because it provides too little opportunity to hit the mood of the audience, Toy Story 3-style? )
But I am always happy to help with it.
I heard it was set 30 years after the return of the Jedi.
In the history of mankind
Time, this is about the distance from the Revolutionary War to the War of 1812.
Who wants to watch a movie equivalent to the 1812 war?
The only thing we get out of it is the shame, the national anthem and the reason why Canadians feel secret superiority.
I\'m sure there\'s a good reason.
Scale space conflict
I would rather slowly go back into the universe and fall in love with these characters before anything explodes, especially given the amazing trend that modern blockbusters will confuse creating a big event with building conflict and emotional relationships.
These are not the same thing, we need to stop letting them get away with it!
We don\'t even need conflict.
I have always dreamed of watching a complete movie.
Old Luke, Han, Leia and chhabaka just sit on a space porch and talk about how good things have been in the past and how terrible things have happened with pop music since their day.
Now they\'re actually in the middle.
Luke, Han, Leia.
Are we going to waste this opportunity?
Don\'t force them to squeak while panting, shooting, and waving lightsabers, and let us feel the general desire for the passage of time.
Let them sit on the space porch to recall.
Han can ask: \"Why don\'t kids play on land like they used to, instead of wasting all their time sending meaningless 10-
The second holographic photo of each other? ” (
You have to imagine that holographic sex, as a parent, will be a big concern for Han and Leia. )
Someone can start playing lightsaber in the background, and Luke can say, \"be careful, I cut off your grandfather\'s arm with one of them!
Han can say: \"You cut off a bunch of arms with that thing . \".
\"Once, I opened a tauntaun.
I thought it smelled bad outside! ” (
Leia smiled, but she felt a little nervous because she had heard the anecdote hundreds of times. )
Then their zany neighbors, Jorge Calrissian and Wedge Antilles, can come over and they can all bake some gundark burgers with a smile, unless gundark is something you shouldn\'t eat because it\'s on the verge of extinction
Luke can flip the burger with the force. -
Or how about romantic comedy?
Job title: \"explosion in the background.
\"It could be about two young, unsuspecting volunteers in a space pet shelter who find love after cleaning up a sick mouse or one --armed wampa.
Or something more like \"must love Ewoks.
Sample dialogue: \"ancor?
I have no hostility towards you!
\"No, silly, there is a resentment coming to you!
\"I really love you very much.
\"Think about all the plush toys you can coax out of a movie like this.
If Star Wars is about one thing, it\'s more than one
Modern, modern-day myth.
If it\'s about two things, it\'s more than one
The myth of the day, selling a lot of tiesIn Merchandise.
Hey, I will buy it!
Of course I will.
I used to have an inflatable chair shaped like Darth more.
But behind all this, the most dangerous thing I feel is the first step of hope. What a good-looking cast! It whispers.
Everything is possible! Ah, hope.
The most dangerous thing in Pandora\'s box
I hope it\'s good.
But I will go.